How to Have Friends and Family who are in Alignment with Your Life

Originally published in January 2020 and updated for 2026.

I originally began blogging after living outside the United States for seven years. After spending so much time reading, writing, and speaking German, I wanted to retrain myself to organize my thoughts naturally in written English again.

What began as a writing practice became something much more personal.

This article remains relevant because the people surrounding you influence your emotional state, your decisions, your confidence, and the reality you are creating. For some of us, there is no clean separation between life, love, spirituality, and business. Everything touches everything else.

The right relationships strengthen your path.

The wrong relationships quietly drain it.

Today, I have expanded this article with deeper insight, a practical relationship-alignment exercise, and information about my private Cord Cutting Ritual. I have also created a new community for Luxury Witch™ initiates who are ready to connect with others walking a path of personal sovereignty, spiritual development, and transformation.

When Your Growth Changes Your Relationships

I discovered how profoundly personal transformation can affect relationships after starting my tarot reading business on April 18, 2018.

More than eight years later, I have worked with tens of thousands of clients through Psychic Tarot, rituals, meditation, energy work, Past Life Regression, Akashic Records, and other transformational practices.

As my spiritual knowledge expanded, tension began growing within parts of my extended family.

My children were not the problem. The conflict came from Christian family members who had been taught to fear or reject subjects such as Astrology, Tarot, Kabbalah, Past Life Regression, Akashic Records, and Energy Medicine.

Instead of asking questions or trying to understand my work, some decided that my spiritual path meant I no longer belonged within their definition of family.

I was criticized, provoked, and pressured to renounce what I had learned.

I had a decision to make.

I could abandon the path that had brought purpose, clarity, and transformation into my life—or I could stop asking people who rejected me to validate the woman I had become.

I chose myself.

I stepped away from the dysfunctional family dynamic and redirected my energy toward the life I was creating.

You Do Not Have to Keep Proving Yourself

At first, I tried telling certain family members how well my business was doing. I wanted them to understand that I was happy, successful, and genuinely helping people.

They were not interested in my accomplishments or goodwill.

They seemed more interested in finding evidence that I would fail.

Eventually, I understood that continuing to explain myself was another way of asking for permission.

You cannot force someone to recognize your growth when they are emotionally invested in your remaining who you used to be.

You also do not have to make yourself smaller so other people can remain comfortable.

Some relationships can be repaired through honest conversations, mutual respect, and stronger boundaries. Others continue functioning only while you remain silent, obedient, apologetic, or available for mistreatment.

That is not alignment.

That is conditioning.

Protection Is Necessary When Contact Continues

Not everyone is prepared or able to end contact with a difficult friend or family member.

You may choose to maintain limited contact because of children, caregiving responsibilities, finances, housing, shared property, or other family obligations.

When contact continues, energetic and emotional protection becomes essential.

Before a phone call, visit, email exchange, or family gathering, consciously decide:

What subjects are private
What behavior you will not accept
How long you are willing to remain
What you will do if a boundary is crossed
How you will restore your energy afterward

Protection is not merely visualizing a shield around yourself while tolerating disrespect.

Protection also means ending the conversation.

Leaving the room.

Declining the invitation.

Refusing to argue.

Not explaining your spiritual beliefs to people committed to misunderstanding them.

Your energy is valuable. Stop giving unlimited access to people who repeatedly misuse it.

Be your own closest ally.

Call your power back from every relationship in which you have been overexplaining, overgiving, chasing approval, or trying to earn the love that should never have required self-abandonment.

Training season has begun.

What Happened When I Chose Alignment

As I stopped fighting to remain connected to people who rejected my path, I began meeting people who could actually walk beside me.

The more I studied, the more information I could absorb.

The more I practiced self-love and acceptance, the more I bonded with others who were committed to their own growth.

I started a Book of Shadows and began working consistently with the cycles of the Moon. I used those cycles to release fear, loneliness, grief, and the belief that losing connection with certain relatives meant I no longer had a family.

I created new routines that supported my mind, body, and spiritual practice. I meditated. I trained physically. I practiced Shaolin martial arts with my children. I began working more deeply with women who were ready to rediscover themselves beyond the expectations placed upon them.

I also studied teachings about heart-centered consciousness, the relationship between environment and human behavior, and the process of creating a new personal reality by becoming a new version of yourself.

The most important lesson was this:

You do not create an aligned life while remaining permanently entangled with relationships that require you to betray yourself.

What Is a Soul Family?

Your soul family is not necessarily determined by blood.

It consists of people whose presence supports truth, growth, dignity, reciprocity, and personal evolution.

This does not mean everyone in your soul family will agree with you all the time. Healthy relationships still include differences, uncomfortable conversations, mistakes, and repair.

The distinction is that aligned people do not require you to abandon yourself in order to maintain the relationship.

Your soul family may include:

Friends who celebrate your growth instead of competing with it
Clients, collaborators, and mentors who understand your purpose
People who respect your spiritual practices without needing to share them
Chosen family who demonstrate loyalty through their behavior
Communities where you are not expected to defend your existence

Some people are born into supportive families.

Others must consciously create them.

Ending Generational Patterns

Dysfunction is often passed from one generation to the next because no one stops long enough to question it.

Control may be called concern.

Criticism may be called honesty.

Emotional neglect may be called strength.

Silence may be called keeping the peace.

But peace that requires one person to remain powerless is not peace.

I use cord cutting as a spiritual practice for ending my participation in generational patterns. The purpose is not to erase history or pretend a relationship never existed. It is to acknowledge what happened, retain the lesson, and release the energetic attachment that keeps repeating the same emotional experience.

You may need to cut cords connected to:

Toxic friends or relatives
Former romantic partners
Betrayal, rejection, or abandonment
Old beliefs about your worth
Fear of disappointing others
Roles you were forced to play
Places, memories, or former identities
The need to receive closure from someone unwilling to provide it

Thoughts create patterns.

Repeated patterns create identities.

When an old belief continues controlling your decisions, that belief can become an energetic attachment of its own.

Set Yourself Free

When you stop organizing your life around other people’s opinions, you regain the energy required to live with purpose.

You become better equipped to move through life with self-respect, discernment, and emotional authority.

Allowing old friends or relatives to live their lives without constant access to you releases energy that can be redirected toward your own happiness.

You regain the capacity to:

Love without abandoning yourself
Create without waiting for approval
Rest without feeling guilty
Pursue your desires without explaining them
Build relationships based on reciprocity
Experience joy without fearing someone will punish you for it

One of my guiding principles is:

Create a life that gives you love and passion for the things that bring you happiness.

When you consistently participate in what you love, you naturally become more visible to people who share your values.

That is how a new soul family begins to recognize you.

Cord Cutting Is More Than Ignoring Someone

Reducing contact can be an important first step, but physical distance alone does not always resolve an energetic attachment.

You can stop speaking to someone and still argue with them in your mind every day.

You can block their number and still feel responsible for their emotions.

You can move across the country and continue making decisions based on what they might think.

That is why cord cutting is not simply about removing a person from your life. It is about releasing the emotional agreement, role, fear, obligation, or identity that continues connecting you to the experience.

I have created thousands of Cord Cutting Rituals and refined my process through years of listening to clients describe their relationships, emotional patterns, and results.

Each ritual is created for the individual circumstances involved. I follow a detailed high-magick protocol designed to address the specific cords, attachments, patterns, and energetic boundaries surrounding the situation.

Cross every “T.”

Dot every “I.”

Thank you, Saturn.

After the cords are addressed, the next stage is not emptiness. It is consciously deciding what will replace the old pattern.

We call your energy back.

We clarify your standards.

We create space for relationships that reflect the life you are becoming.

Friends and Family Alignment Exercise

Take out a piece of paper and write down the names of the friends, relatives, associates, and recurring contacts in your life.

Do not immediately label anyone as good or bad.

Instead, notice what happens inside you when you read each name.

Ask yourself:

Does this relationship energize or drain me?

After spending time with this person, do you generally feel supported, respected, and grounded?

Or do you feel depleted, anxious, guilty, confused, criticized, or responsible for managing their emotions?

What purpose does this relationship currently serve?

Consider the relationship as it exists now—not as it used to be and not as you hope it might become.

Who is served by my keeping this person close?

Is the relationship mutually supportive, or are you maintaining it primarily to prevent someone else from becoming angry, disappointed, or inconvenienced?

Who would I need to become for this relationship to feel healthy?

Would you need stronger boundaries?

Clearer communication?

Less contact?

Greater self-trust?

Would the other person also need to take responsibility for their behavior?

Is this person aligned with the life I am creating?

Alignment does not require identical beliefs. It requires enough mutual respect that both people can exist honestly.

Place each name into one of four groups:

Nurture: Relationships that deserve more attention and appreciation
Repair: Relationships where an honest conversation or new boundary may help
Reduce: Relationships that require less access, less information, or less frequent contact
Release: Relationships that repeatedly cause harm and no longer belong in your life

Do not make impulsive decisions solely because someone irritated you once.

Look for patterns.

A difficult conversation does not automatically make someone toxic. However, repeated disrespect, manipulation, humiliation, sabotage, coercion, or emotional punishment should not be minimized simply because the person is related to you.

What Cord Cutting Does—and Does Not Mean

Cord cutting does not mean another person will die, disappear, or become incapable of contacting you.

It does not remove free will.

It does not prevent you from choosing to build a different relationship with the person later.

It means that any future connection can be approached with greater clarity and established on new terms.

You are no longer unconsciously feeding the same attachment.

You decide what access is appropriate.

You decide which relationships deserve your time.

You decide what you will nurture and what you will no longer carry.

That decision can save tremendous emotional energy, time, and money.

The One Question That Changes the Year

Finally, ask yourself:

What is the one thing I can do to make my life easier this year?

Do not choose the answer that sounds impressive.

Choose the answer that creates relief.

It may be establishing one boundary.

Ending one exhausting conversation.

Asking for help.

Releasing one relationship.

Returning to your spiritual practice.

Creating a daily routine.

Making one decision you have postponed because you were afraid of how someone else might react.

That one decision becomes your work for the year.

Private Cord Cutting Ritual

When you are ready to release a toxic attachment, recover your energy, and establish a new boundary, my private Cord Cutting Ritual is created specifically for your circumstances.

This is not a generic meditation or one-size-fits-all ritual.

Your ritual addresses the person, relationship, pattern, belief, or experience involved and is completed through my established high-magick protocol. You receive video confirmation after the ritual is performed.

Private Cord Cutting Ritual: $119

Reserve Your Cord Cutting Ritual

You do not need another person’s agreement to stop participating in a pattern that is harming you.

You only need to decide that your life force belongs to you again.